Looking for a little reassurance

[Dcm202]

Hi everyone! I am not a new cat owner, but I am new to having more than one cat, and doing introductions.

Previously, I had adopted a beautiful orange boy when he was only 8 weeks old, and he was my only cat and I had him up until August when unfortunately, kidney disease took him at 18 years old. Then in October, I lost my mom and decided that since 2023 had too much loss, that 2024 would have gains. So in early January, I adopted a 4 to 5 month old kitten, named Cleo!

Cleo is very loving and affectionate, and as you can guess, full of energy. So much energy. I had originally planned to adopt Cleo's sister along with her from the rescue, however, after she was spayed, she became fearful and reclusive, and her foster mom did not think it was a good idea, and I certainly was not going to argue.

I've realized that Cleo needs a playmate so on Friday I went down to a well respected shelter in my city and met Ramona. Ramona is about one year old and came from a home with five cats. She is also extremely loving, obviously a bit more mellow than Cleo, but still enjoys playing. My thought process was that they were close enough in age, but Ramona was a little bit older and could be a good role model and maybe help Cleo calm down just a little bit, and maybe I could get a little sleep lol.

Anyway, I have been doing the introductions to the best of my ability. Ramona has a base camp in my bedroom, and believe it or not, they have already met face-to-face, sniffed each other's noses and so yesterday they had a good bit of supervised together time. I fed them at the same time far apart, but within line of sight, I did the same thing with some treats. I keep playing with Cleo especially because she has so much energy and is very excited to have a new cat to play with.

That's the problem, Cleo wants to play, and play in the way that all kittens do and Ramona doesn't really seem into it yet as she is still learning about her new home. There has been no violence, I have not seen any signs of real aggression, no ear pinning, no fur standing on end. No batting or swatting, but Ramona hisses at Cleo sometimes when she tries to pounce on her or chase her, or is just in her way. From reading here I know that hissing is not a sign of aggression, but I would be lying to you if I said, it doesn't raise my anxiety a lot. I am, possibly unjustifiably afraid that Ramona will fight and hurt my little Cleo which I really don't want obviously. So I guess my question is how much should I worry about that, I know that I need to continue to supervise them and of course I will, and they will definitely be separated when I need to leave the apartment, but am I doing OK if there's just some hissing? I always try to redirect Cleo with toys and it works every time. I'm just new to all of this and I'm sure most of you with multiple cats have been through it as well. Cleo is very used to sleeping with me and so I have been sleeping in the living room with her since Ramona has my bedroom but I can't do that for too much longer. I'm so tired because I'm not sleeping well out here and I would very much like to, get back to my bed, and do not want to lock Cleo out, but I also realize that is Ramona's base camp. So I would like to try to go to bed with them both free. What do you all think? Yesterday I did get some feliway multi cat and Cleo genuinely seems to be less rambunctious today. I will include some cat tax pictures below. Cleo is the tuxedo cat and Ramona is the black cat. Because I've been trying to supervise them and freaking out at every hiss I don't have nearly as many pictures of Ramona. Sorry about that. Thanks for reading my ramblings.

 

[Kris107]

I bet you that Cleo will calm down. When I first adopted my current boy cat, he was wild! We wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. He would run back and forth across the house and he'd jump on chairs and knock them over then slam himself up on the glass door. He was pretty naughty and would test us. BUT! Now he's over 1 and he's a very good boy. Much more mellow. He knows the rules. He's great. Although, now we have a 5.5 month old. She is pretty wild, annoying... but we just tell ourselves that if our boy can calm down and become a good boy, she will too. I think you're doing a good job - just keep the faith! Cleo will grow up and likely become less wild too. Just keep it up with boundaries, redirecting, etc. With the hissing, just keep keeping an eye on it. I think the hissing you describe is kind of a "go away". Until they've spent more time together, I'm not sure I'd let them be together full time (i.e. overnight or when you're gone). I know that's probably not what you want to hear since one of the cats is occupying your room.

 

[Dcm202]

I bet you that Cleo will calm down. When I first adopted my current boy cat, he was wild! We wondered what we had gotten ourselves into. He would run back and forth across the house and he'd jump on chairs and knock them over then slam himself up on the glass door. He was pretty naughty and would test us. BUT! Now he's over 1 and he's a very good boy. Much more mellow. He knows the rules. He's great. Although, now we have a 5.5 month old. She is pretty wild, annoying... but we just tell ourselves that if our boy can calm down and become a good boy, she will too. I think you're doing a good job - just keep the faith! Cleo will grow up and likely become less wild too. Just keep it up with boundaries, redirecting, etc. With the hissing, just keep keeping an eye on it. I think the hissing you describe is kind of a "go away". Until they've spent more time together, I'm not sure I'd let them be together full time (i.e. overnight or when you're gone). I know that's probably not what you want to hear since one of the cats is occupying your room.

My goodness, everything you are describing with your boy. Cat is exactly what I went through with my boy cat so long ago! Honestly, I had forgotten how kittens were until I got Cleo lol.

How will I know when it's OK to let them be together full-time?

 

[Kris107]

For us, it was just trusting their interactions. Our boy tended to get over-stimulated when he was younger and when that happened he would kind of go "kill" mode. We had to see them wrestle/play and make sure he wouldn't hurt her. We still are working on her to not pester him (always playing with his tail!) but we at least know they won't hurt each other. We started off small too. Did a quick errand and left them out together. You might even try to have them both sleep out with you - that way you can hear any scuffles. Our previous pair of cats - 1 was silent while playing and the other always hissed/growled. But they liked an occasional tussle. The growly one would even start it. You got this! You know them, you're reading them...

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Some hissing is fine. Ramona is simply saying, "You are bothering me, go play somewhere else." I'd continue with what you are doing, and add some deep breaths to keep yourself calm. Your cats will pick up on your anxiety, you know. SO...let them interact when you can supervise. Let there be some hissing, sometimes a cat's gotta say what a cat's gotta say, watch for signs of an actual attack (aggressor's body low and tense, slow creeping forward, ears back, tail bushed, low moaning/growling while advancing), and slip something (large pillow, big piece of cardboard) between them, and use it to gently herd whichever is more easily herdable away from the other.

 

[JDourg]

I when through a similar thing, in a way, when I adopted Mayer, who was one year old. I had had Joe Joe for nearly ten years — he is 12.

I was very worried about their interactions. I did much of what you did. Then one evening, I sat in my chair and opened the gate. Mayer came out tentatively. They had already seen each other through the gate. I sat in my chair in the living. The house was calm and quiet. Mayer eventually made his way into the bedroom where Joe Joe was. I kept fighting this impulse to go into the bedroom, as sort of a chaperone, but I held off.

All was quiet in the bedroom. I sat and sat. Eventually they strolled out. All was calm and good. My advice and experience tells me I was more worried than I needed to be. Trust your instincts and your cats. Patience, forbearance, and a calm house when the moment arrives.